Destiny....

Couldn't think of an innovative title for this one.....so named it "Destiny" (yeah....I try to b innovative in other titles :D)...

This has the age old Hand again (infact i named this image "hand" earlier :P).....so a bit of retrospection...

Again...all credits to sunny for the colour scheme.....I had the usual shades of brown and ochure....,may be a tinge of red somewhere, in my mind....but sunny suggested to go with blue, green and shades of orange and yellow.....n it looks better that way :)...

Tapp - original

This is the original Tapp image (hand sketch + photoshopgiri as usual).......finally found some time to edit and paint it in photoshop (I wonder where all my lukkha time goes given that i have nothing else to do :P)......

Those looking for an explaination can scroll down to the earlier post on Tapp....

I won't take the whole credit of this creation all by myself....my lil bro, sunny, helped me out with the colour scheme of this one.....the blue flame and bluish-green background were his ideaz..... thnx sunny :*.....

Brahm.....

Well this isn't a new creation.....it has been in my sketch book for like 6-7 years but I re-sketched it with a few editions and ofcourse some photoshopgiri :P.....

Its my version of the Hindu God Brahm, the Creator of all things.... Well according to hindu mythology, lord Brahm had 4 faces, but I picture him as a single face with 4 eyes (the rest two are at the back)......

Interestingly, just while scrolling thru various TV channels...I found a similar figure to be known as a demon somewhere in Spain who was destined to destroy this world but as we can see...cudn't....its ironical how the creator in one part of the world becomes a destroyer in another.....

Arbit paint stuff-3

NO need to explain the digi-arts or my situation :D.... just some more lukkha time and some more arbit work at 10 in the morning :P.......

Arbit paint stuff-2 : Tapp....

You sometimes underestimate the power of simple editing tools like MSpaint...... I realized that in the lukkha time I had at P3....

The idea of this painting got into my mind when Karthik (one of my flatmates) was singing one of the Ragas.... I got a strange feeling of devotion, of submission.......... Took a pencil and started sketching whatever that came to my mind... and that resulted in "Tapp"....

But job in a database comes with its disadvantages.... No photoshop to edit my drawing :((...infact I cudn't even have a soft copy of the sketch with me (have to figure out a way to do that asap)...... So in the lukkha time I had, paint came to my rescue.... comp screen became my chart paper and mouse played the role of pencil, eraser and brush and of course I had the very helpful clt+z :P..... and windows picture editor also proves to be helpful at some occasions....

Well I guess the funda of the painting needs no explaination whatsoever...but purani aadat se majboor, I'll xplain it in a few words :D.......

It is basically a man (if u can comprehend that) doing tapp..... Tapp can be for different reasons.... to ask God what he desires....to make up for his sins....or may be just to purify his soul to walk on the divine path......... But one has to do tapp to achieve what he wants....and it is not simply devoting yourself to the almighty...it is working hard to achieve what you aim at....to restrain yourself from all distractions and maintain focus.....that is tapp....

apne lakshya ko hi apna karam bana lena tapp hai....apne andar ki indriyon par kabu pa lena tapp hai.....aur apni shaktiyo ko jaan lena uska parinaam.....

ps : I hope to figure out a way to bring in the soft copy (even my company mail has pains in receiving the pic :(() and post the actual sketch soon :D

Arbit paint stuff-1

well u don't get to do much stuff when every site is blocked and all u have is MSpaint :(.....
but still just a small tp on my part :D

Rue......

Regretting what i have done.... i cry for the first time ever...... but the cry isn't heard..... or is it....??? is anybody listening...... is anyone feeling the same as i am now...... i don't know..... all i know is that i screamed it all out..... but is it out yet.....????? am i normal yet...?? i doubt my situation..... i doubt my state......  i m in rue......

i m sad about what happened..... remembering what could have been and what it has turned out to be...... seeing the faces.... feeling the emotions that have passed by...... the warmth they gave me...... i feel sad..... i m in rue....

Just regretting what happened isn't enough...... it doesn't bring back what i have lost..... but i have to do something to fix things...... to make it what it should be...... but i don't know how...... i m in rue.....

I have to learn to be with it..... to learn from what i have done...... but its painful..... to have a smile on your face when you are crying from within...... but i have to do it........ to face what i have done......

I m in rue......

aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........

Do you ever face a situation where its all messed up...... you don't know what you want or what you don't..... just feel like crying out loud..... screaming at the top of your voice..... but you can't........ 

You feel like its happening all over again.. and you are not able to do a thing to stop it..... to change it.... you know its all your fault but you can do nothing about it....

The sand is simply slipping out of your hand from between your fingers...... and you want to grab it tighter...... you feel insomniac......

You close your eyes and you see all of it again and again...... you don't want to think about it but even can't afford to forget it..... for it has with it the loving memories which you have built in your past..... which you want to take with you till the grave.....

But the sole reason for those memories is dying..... its wanting to get away...... 'coz its the past... it has to go.... but you see your future in it...... you see hope.... you see light.... but its getting dark...... and you can't close your eyes with the fear of darkness swallowing it.... you want to cherish it...... but you can't...... you fear closing your eyes..... you feel insomniac........

You realize that you have built a glass shield around you which can't be broken..... which you once toiled to be stronger than anything else...... but now you want to hit it and hit it hard...... to shatter it to pieces...... but all you can do is cry..... which can't be heard by anyone..... for everything is fading away in darkness......

You fear closing your eyes..... you feel insomniac........

Kite Runner......

Just read this extremely interesting book..... Kite Runner 

First of all its a fabulous piece of art by khaled hosseini....  it really took me in a totally different state of mind.... all the mistakes i had done... right from a small lie to some school teacher to the biggest of mistakes i have done.... all of them were flashing in front of my eyes as i was going through it.... I could really relate to the character "Amir" in it..... 

There have ben many instances when my mind had said something and my heart wanted to take a totally different path.... The chickening out of amir at various situations reminded me how i have sometimes let others down and have ran out of trouble just to save myself..... I felt like apologizing to each of them before its too late... I have the chance which amir didn't.....

As some people say..."i have a really bad timing of expressing myself..."..... i felt the same for amir..... he wanted to save his friend..... but all he could think of was fear... the consequences that might arise after that..... Friends..... in every situation of your life you seldom have a single path to take..... there is always a choice and sacrifice.... i think i have taken the wrong ones many times which i regret till date....... 

The part where amir stands up for hassan's son shohrab is really what i want to do before its too late..... But i don't know whether i'd be able to gather enough courage to do that... to stand up to someone's expectations..... to make a sacrifice for them..... I don't know what happens to me in such situations......

Am not able to find more words to express the guilt and remorse i am feeling right now simply due to the fact that i couldn't do the right thing at the right time..... I feel even worse because i've always expected friends, and they have, to stand up for me..... to support me.... but all i thought was myself..... what will i get out of it..... will it harm me????.... is it safe enough to speak or interfere????.....

All i want to do is to run, as fast as i can, for the kite floating high in the sky...... try to catch it for my dear ones..... i know its cut.... and is flying freely... going out of my reach with every passing instant..... but i want to run...... to jump as high as i can to grab it.... to hold  it to my chest and feel it..... and cry.... cry out loud what i have deep down inside.......

Sorry to all of you whom i have let down..... i know i have.....

These thoughts might appear to be random.... they might appear to be jumbled up..... but this is how it works in my mind..... jumbled..... all webbed up... entangled amongst themselves......

I hope someday i can do what i feel........

B2L.....my wing

just for some fun.....jate jate apni wing ko kuch to dena tha na :P....

so thought of making a logo or something.........

this is just the first draft of it......

comments invited....

Life...

Again going back to bangalore times (how much lukkha time did i have!!!! :P)..... just one of my usuals hand-leg combo in this :D....

This represents the life of a common human being.... there are a lot of factors which shape his life.... technology, his passion, the people he knows..... all of them give a different dimension to his life.... but in the end, it is his fate to which he has to submit.... his destiny is pre-written....

The same funda here too.... pic of a sketch and used photoshop to colour it.....

greenhouse effect....

A passing thought for our greenhouse affected Mother Earth.... As the scientists say "she's literally on fire".... All the hands symbolize human beings who r ready to kill her... to choke her down... but she can do nothing for she can't speak out her misery, her pains......

This was basically pic of one of my sketches... used some photoshop to add colours to it (ctrl alt z helps a lot u know ;).....

Beauty....

On of my sketches (+ some photoshopgiri :P) which i drew at bamgalore.... The main thing behind it was that i really liked the dress she's wearing and her hair style also caught my eye..... The background red is just some basic photoshopgiri....

Mahabharat......

This is a painting on my wall....called the Mahabharat.....

Its about the chir-haran of Draupadi... the politics involved (symbolized by the chess pieces)... and the game of "chaupad".... And behind all this.. Yudhishthir was helpless and could do nothing apart from closing his eyes and crying...

Lahrein....

Lahrein...

bahut poocha sagar ki in lahron se....

kyun kinare se ye takrati hain....

karti hain ye kinare se bewafai....

ya sagar se wafa nibhati hain.....

Shayari by one of my friends..... This painting is basically an analogy between waves and an indian woman..... Like a wave hits the shore but still says in the sea... similar is the case for a woman.... On the other side of the doorstep stands her dreams, her career... but on this side is her family... her children... So should she fulfill her dreams or should she stay back for her family??? An indian woman chooses her family over her dreams in most of the cases..... So is she justified in doing so....???

Life @ IITB......

Entry at landscape design competition.....

It shows what we desired, dreamed IIT to be and what it turns out eventually.....

Students come in with great expectations, with high hopes of a better life.... but for some, it doesn't turn out that well.... For them, IIT cuts off a dimension from their lives.... Hopes of good grades, high salaries, etc are thrown straight on their face.... and all that remains for them is to drown in alcohol or even suicide for some.....

Our ears are open to hear all the criticism we face by our failures.... but our mouth is shut......

Nirnay.....

Nothing better to start the blog then some of my artworks..

This one is one of my favorites.... called "Nirnay".... Twas one of the productive things i did while training at bangalore was sketching...... 

Its basically a man at the gates of heaven n hell.... The fire separates out his evil (black) and good (white) parts and then decides where the man should go.... So this is the "nirnay" it takes......